Overqualified: silver shears

to: Human resources, Maritime beauty
re: Shipping and recieving.

I read your recent posting on Jobspress, seeking someone for a shipping and receiving position at Maritime Beauty, and I am absolutely positive that I am the man for the job.

I know that my background may not seem to lend itself to shipping and receiving. I've got no experience in shipping. Instead I have certificates in welding and practical engineering, as well as my silver scissors from the school of cosmetology. I guess you could say I've been having trouble finding my calling.

But shipping and receiving seems so perfect. I can already picture myself behind the wheel of the greasy yellow forklift, the warehouse filled with the sounds of crashing and hollering, the air hot and thick with machines working. I've always felt an affinity for machines. They're strong and built for hard work. Sometimes I see myself as a sort of machine, and that's when I like myself the most. But I have always known that there was another side to my personality.

The delicacy of hairdressing has always been embarrassing to the part of me in love with machines, but I love the creation process with my whole being. I cannot slide my finger and thumb into those scissors without feeling the rush of fear, knowing what my welding buddies would think of me, what they might say. But it is also true that once my forefinger and thumb have slid into place I feel a rush of another kind; Excitement.

So why hire me? Well, I see myself as a jack of all trades in your company, prepared to toss aside my dirty smock and step into the front room of your salon. I'm confident in my ability to advise your customers on which beauty products would best suit their colouring and hair type, and which hair cuts are in style for their professions and their lifestyles.

I wear my own hair cropped short; the simple look favoured by working men, though I would never admit to them that I left the bangs a half inch longer, and took the shears to them for that naturally messy look that's so popular this season.

And imagine the looks on the faces of my old cosmetics school friends if they found out that I've been giving my jeans that beat-up look by lodging them in the treads of a CAT bulldozer.

It's frustrating to be torn between these two obsessions, and I am certain that this shipping and receiving job is my answer. I know that I have a lot to offer you.

I look forward to hearing from you, and you may contact me by email or telephone.

Thanks, always,

Joey Comeau.