Overqualified: There's two ways this can go

To: Human Resources
Re: Radiographer Position

Thank you for taking the time to consider me for the position of Radiographer with your company. The first time I ever saw an X-Ray machine, I was coming through customs, with my dad. I must have been eight years old at the time, and the customs official put my teddy bear through the machine just like my mom said he would.

He took the whole family into this little room, and my dad told him "We can do this the easy way or the hard way," and the official laughed and patted the gun on his side.

"Oh yeah?" he said, and my dad just nodded, real slow.

"The easy way," my dad said, "is I knife you."

Later on, when I was in my first year of university, I lived with a friend named Jeff. When I found myself covering Jeff's rent money, my mom took me aside to tell me "Never lend money to a friend, because you lose both the money and the friend," but my father told her to mind her own business. He said "Let him make his own mistakes, Karen,"

After three months of covering his rent, I was out of money and desperate. Week after week Jeff kept telling me that he'd pay me when he had the money to spare, and I didn't know what to do. When I called my father, he told me exactly what had to be done. His voice was quiet and calm. I woke up early the next morning, and went into Jeff's room, where he was sleeping. I carefully set a phonebook on his stomach, open halfway, and then I took a hammer to him.

Waiting for the taxi to take us to the hospital, I told him, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," and Jeff just stared at me, clutching his stomach, tears on his face. "The easy way," I told him, "is I knife you. The hard way, is you start giving me straight answers about my money, and we can work on rebuilding the trust that is essential to our friendship,"

At the hospital I watched as the doctors X-Rayed him, looking for internal damage. I thought to myself, "This is a cushy job. All you have to do is push a button, and, from time to time, keep your god damned mouth shut." I decided that I wanted to be a radiographer.

Joey Comeau