Overqualified: The Puerto-Rican girl reminded me of my mother.

To: L Wilton, Aplin
Re: Inside Account Executive - Bilingual

I am writing to apply for a position as Inside Account Executive, though perhaps I should wait until I'm less upset to send this email. I'm not a racist. I respect people of all races equally, or I'm trying to. It takes time to check and make sure.

You can't just say "every race is equal" without doing any research. What if the Chinese really were all monsters? Just because something isn't polite to say, that doesn't make it automatically false. Don't get me wrong, I had a Chinese girlfriend last year, so this is obviously just an example. I'm certain now that they're perfectly nice people.

The Arabs, too. After I went out on a few dates with the TA from my semitic languages seminar while at university, I no longer doubted that Arabs were indeed an equal people. In fact, if I had to compare, I would say that she was a little more equal than some of the white girls I've dated. She had a sense of adventure, anyway.

You can see why I'm so upset over this. I am many things, efficient, energetic, charismatic, all of which would make me an asset to your company. I would excell as an Inside Account Executive with your firm, and it tears me apart that she thinks I'm a racist.

I'm no racist. Why? Because she found my checklist? I'm a scientist, is all that is. Should I just go around saying "all races are equal" without having checked for myself? So, I keep a checklist of the different races of women I've been with. Every scientist keeps notes.

And I can't just trust the books other people have written, can I? You can't believe everything you read. People can just make up any old thing and write it down. Hands on experience is the only knowledge that you can really trust these days.

She asked me why I hadn't put a check mark in the box next to Indian Women. (She's Indian, is why she asked.)

"Well, I haven't had enough time to decide," I told her. THAT's why she called me a racist.

In any case, I have included my resume for your review, and I think you'll find that I have a lot to offer your company. And, judging by the list of surnames I found for some of your lady executives, your company has a lot to offer me as well.


Joey Comeau