Overqualified: I am an activation enthusiast

To: Human resources, Leisureworld Fitness Centre
Re: Activation Assistant

I was excited to learn that the leisureworld fitness centre was seeking an Activation Assistant. I am an up and coming Activation enthusiast, who wishes to make my hobby into a career. I have experience activating all manner of electronic device and private property alarm systems ranging from vehicular ones, to those designed for the home.

I feel that an assistant level position will give me time to acclimatise myself to the professional world of activation, as well as allow me to judge my skill set by industry standards. I am certain that I will not remain at the assistant level for long, but I am more than aware of the necessity of beginning there. I have enclosed my resume, which lists these skills, as well as my experience.

Unfortunately I do not have a diploma in Activation, though you state that you require one. Please understand that this is due to my overwhelming skill at Activating, and not because of any lacking. You see, the Activation college down the street from my house uses a number of different security systems, and my attempt to break in and print myself up an activation diploma was foiled by my almost innate ability to activate those alarms.

Shaken by the high pitched screeching, I was driven from the building into the cold, cold night, where I promptly activated the hood on my jacket, and headed for my home. On the way, I reflected on Activation in general, and it was while I walked past your fine establishment that I finally decided to go for it.

You were my inspiration.

Watching unhappy, ever forward-looking people climb electric stairs through your plate glass window made me wonder. Am I climbing a set of stairs that goes nowhere because it's not actually stairs, but in fact just an electronic gizmo designed to simulate stairs? Am I going to be an Activation hobbyist for the rest of my life, or am I going to go right home, and draft up my resume?

At the age of thirty, will I activate an electric radio in my bath-tub, after reflecting on my sad, failed life? Or will I activate my memory and a bottle of expensive wine, and recall the night I sat down and finally Activated my ambition, turning it's fantastical powers to a career with your fantastical company?

Thank you,

Joey Comeau.