Overqualified: FRITO LAY: I'm so, so sorry. (this OQ is for Sheryl)

To: Frito Lay
Re: Marketing Director

Dear Frito-Lay potato chip company.

I don't know if an email cover letter can properly express the admiration I feel for men and women who have become rich off of potato chips. Thank you. Seriously, THANK YOU, for taking the time to review my resume. I realize that the last time I applied for a job with your company, I accidentally included an instant messenger transcript which reflected poorly on my character, but I have fixed the copy and paste bug that led to that particular CHRIS SAYS: also, i thought that a great new trend to start would be to yell something insane every time i orgasm with a girl.....like, "HERE COMES THE CRAZY JUICE." Wait. I told you that one, didn't I?

JOEY SAYS: You did. I mentioned it in bed this evening, actually.

CHRIS SAYS: What about the one where I yell "I HATE MY DAD" when I come.

JOEY SAYS: I love you, man.

Which is exactly the sort of experience and underlying motivation that makes for a valuable employee, I think you'll agree. CHRIS SAYS: or you could just yell "GIVE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK"

JOEY SAYS: haha. Or "CAN YOU HEAR THAT MUSIC? IS THAT YOUR BEEF PEACH SINGING TO ME?" cut and paste problems are JOEY SAYS: or "MY COLONISTS! MY COLONISTS ARE COLONIZING YOUR BEEF PEACH!" Technical know-how and potato chip enthusiasm. And that said, I look forward to hearing from you regarding this position.