Overqualified: WAL-MART: Nice women don't want the panties.


To: WAL-MART
Re: The glass ceiling problem

Dear Walmart,

I am writing to apply for a position with your company, and I am including my resume for your review. It outlines my years of experience in retail and management, as well as my credentials and degrees in business. I hope that you will take the time to consider it, as well as this cover letter. Whenever I hear about Walmart in the newspapers, I think "That's the company for me".

Everyone must be tired of women complaining bout the "glass ceiling", it can't just be you and me, Walmart. Glass ceiling, glass ceiling, glass ceiling. What is their PROBLEM? Have they ever even seen a glass ceiling? Greenhouses have glass ceilings. Glass ceilings are nice, man. They're classy. And anyway, they act like they're the only ones hard done by.

If they have a glass ceiling, what do we men have? That's right, a glass floor. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on your job when you're constantly worried whether you've got gum or something on the bottom of your shoe? What if the breeding stock downstairs can see? Who will I fuck then?

It's not like they'd stop complaining if they were on the glass floor and we had the glass ceiling. They'd complain that we're constantly looking up their skirts! They'd organize some kind of media fiasco, demanding the right to wear panties so we can't see their unflushable pink toilets. Women will always demand more, Walmart. I'm glad you've drawn your line in the sand.

Hire me! I've got a dick.

Joey Comeau