Overqualified: Dicta space Typist

To: Human resources, RCA Healthcare
Re: Medical Dictatypist

I am responding to your job posting, seeking a Medical Dictatypist with 2 or more years of experience. I have been a professional Dictatypist in the Medical field for fifteen years, and I have published several successful guides to modern Dictatyping through Random House Publishing. I am including my resume for your review.

The majority of my resume, you will notice, is made up of Dictatypist positions where I made much more than the $12 to $14 an hour that you advertise, but please be assured my salary expectations are much lower with the current depressed market for Dictatyping services. I am well aware that as demand for our services has gone down, so too have the salaries we command.

For years Dictatypists in fields other than medicine have been slowly losing their jobs to speech recognition technology, but the medical field has long remained the bastion of our profession due to it's use of strange and unpronounceable words. Still, the technology has already begun to reach the level of complexity that would enable it to phase out the Medical Dictatypist.

Did you know that Dictatypist isn't even officially recognized as a real word? "Dictatypist" returned no results when entered into Merriam Webster's popular online dictionary, nor does it show up in my copy of the Oxford dictionary of current English. To the "system", our profession doesn't even warrant its own word. To them we are Dicta-Typists. A sub genre of typists, more a phrase than a word.

The "Customer Service" department at Merriam Webster excused this oversight with a slew of made up justifications that had no grounding in logic. I explained to their manager that there is nothing more important to the Dictatypists of the world than recognition. Recognition of their profession as valid, and recognition of their distinction from mere "Typists".

The fact that your job posting requested a "Dictatypist" was not lost on me. You did not post looking for a "Dicta-typist" or a "Dicta Typist". You posted seeking a "Dictatypist", and I assure you that I am such a person. You want someone dedicated to the art that is Dictatyping, and I am that someone. Nothing has ever excited me the way that Dictatyping has. Nothing has ever moved me with such force.

Thank you for taking the time to review my resume, and I look forward to hearing from you regarding this position.

Yours in gratitude,

Joey Comeau.