Overqualified: sugar, come by and get me high

To: Citibank
Re: The ground floor

Dear Citibank,

I am writing to apply for a job with your company, and I should say ahead of time that I am using you to tease my mother. I don't have any interest in whatever it is you people do. Every time I see her, she starts in on me again. Why don't you have a career yet? What are you doing with your life?

But Citibank, you know what the best day of my life was? The day I realized that I could work a shitty part time job to cover my rent and my food, and the rest of my time could be my own.

So, I apologize for using your current economic woes to tease my mother, and her idea of my banker cousin as a model I should aspire to. I know you guys are probably freaking out. You need to just relax. Think about what I said. I have a pretty nice life.

Joey Comeau