#0 My dead family and I are in your debt.
#1 I had a problem.
#2 Making a play for power.
#3 I am an Activation Enthusiast.
#4 Trial and error are my speciality.
#5 Dicta space Typist
#6 JOB SKILL: I show initiative
#7 I need to be a chicken farmer.
#8 A recent example.
#9 The demon in Joey
#10 Silver shears
#11 Doomed. You're doomed.
#12 You're such a child.
#13 A magnet shaped like a kitten!
Dear Mister Mayor How are you?
#14 No longer poetry, but noise.
#15 Art vs Life! TITLE BOUT.
#16 Newspapermen need love too.
#17 Run on, love. Run on.
#18 All these scraps with no signatures.
#19 The relevance of background checks.
#20 I'm coming down there.
#21 clean your body with fire.
#22 There's two ways this can go.
#23 I wonder if another woman is what we really need.
#24 You can't hand out candy apples with broken thumbs.
#25 Maybe I should buy you a book on being prettier.
#26 Have you got cervix in a can? Well you'd better let her out!
#27 Lend me that book and you can be sure I'll see you again!
#28 Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled JUS-TICE
#29 If I don't get this job there is no god.
#30 If you want to sing out, sing out.
#31 It must cost a lot to feed a dog like that.
#32 The Puerto-Rican girl reminded me of my mother.
#33 What have children got to do with it?
#34 The time of my life.
#35 My father was a great man.
#35 apology letter A visit from the police.
#36 Back in Black.

After the episode with the police, I stopped sending the letters out for a while. Then it occurred to me I could just send them to companies in other countries. Big, silly companies like Yahoo, Microsoft, Adobe, Sony, etc.

#37 YAHOO.COM: Chkm8_slutz.
#38 THE RIAA: Where's Willy?
#39 THE FCC: My resume indicates a previous position avec your mom?
#40 GMAIL: Conspiracy theories?
#41 NYPD: It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
#42 APPLE.COM: in 1984 I was still my momma's boy.
#43 Microsoft: March 15th: I'm pregnant. It isn't his.
#44 FRITO LAY: I'm so, so sorry. (this OQ is for Sheryl)
#45 Hallmark: Know what I mean?
#46 amazon: already
#47 Nintendo: "make an equation of love"
#48 RAND Corporation: Please don't send this one back.
#49 Bill Gates: Money is so awesome.
#50 FOX: I cut the bit about sex.
#51 WAL-MART: Nice women don't want the panties.
#52 HBO: Yellow fever.
#53 Random House: A Young Lady's Primer.
#54 Toyota: Marketing.
#55 MYSPACE: cats or lesbians.
#56 Gillette: The best a man can get.
#57 The BBC: Why not choose love?
#58 The RIAA: A hobby should pass the time, not fill it.
#59 FX: Am I right, ladies? Am I right?


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